Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
