You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
