So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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