I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
