So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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