I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
