my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
