Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
