So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
