your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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