is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
