btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
