Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
4 words: hood of his car
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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