He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
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