this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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