so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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