I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize