i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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