i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
