I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
