Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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