he wants to bone in the snuggie
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize