I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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