I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
