were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
