This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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