i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
