Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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