Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The air was thick with penises
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
