PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
