Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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