I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
