I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
