were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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