I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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