His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
