Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
