D3 body, D1 cock
You can't motorboat a personality
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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