my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
