when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
