I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
