Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
