You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There's always time for handjobs
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
