i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
