Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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