Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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