Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
