Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
