You're completely useless in the revolution.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
