for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
