Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
