Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
