Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
