Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
