You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
