What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
