I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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