Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
