I'm really into asian looking animals
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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