of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
