I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
