if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
