The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
