People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize