No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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