she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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